GOD ATE MY GOOGLE DRIVE don’t believe the live blog
I am here to help expose some truths/lies, with some tumblr users I have discovered this afternoon.
Tumblr user ‘Blackbeltvegan’ says, “Rihanna is like those monkeys they talk about in that experiment where the monkey puts their hand in a slit in a coconut to get rice and it gets stuck, but Rihanna put her head in it instead and that’s why her forehead is so big”
We will now hear from Oliver. Oliver once cried when he ran out of toilet paper. He has since written a story about this event, but has claimed that he did not cry. We need to show him some support, to let me know that we know it is ok to cry over a dirty butt.
Tumblr user ‘sixty-9-percent’ says, “Drake has some powers. I was listening to some of his music, and came across some past pictures and started crying. That’s not right.
It’s like Josie and the Pussycats and in the music there were subliminal messages telling the people to do something.
What if Drake’s music had that. When you put it on he’s subliminally telling you to think about your ex.
I’d like to now introduce Emilia. Emilia has a blog dedicated to proving the existence of Larry Stylinson, she has been following their relationship ever since One Direction appeared on The X Factor. She is confident that ‘management’ are covering it up to boost sales. She has made a video with footage of the two of them together on her Youtube channel, LarryLover91. It has had over 17,000 views.
However, tumblr user ‘silentmonarchs’ says, “What if deer had a genetic mutation that made it so instead of antlers, they grew this huge ass bad ass horn and then that deer would get ultra laid and then unicorn deer would be a thing and then we’ll be one step closer to a better world.
#science side of tumblr”
Please make Kenji feel welcome. Kenji once has a secret tryst with Selena Gomez on the set of Wizards of Waverly Place, where he was playing an extra. He did not get paid for this appearance, but was doing it as a favour to his aunt, who accidentally tripped over the producer.
But I think the most profound thing we may learn today is from tumblr user ‘jesuschristhallelujah’, who said “but wait the parent trap was lindsay lohans film debut??? then why the fuck would they choose her instead of actual twins it would have spared tons of money wouldnt it???what if lindsay lohan actually did have a twin sister but she disappeared right after the filming of the parent trap and they decided to pretend it was just lindsay lohan all along because how bad would it be if one of ur actors like died or something during your movie?!?!??!?! just wait for it im gonna get some proof!! #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Our final reader for today is Emmie. Emmie has a limp. She limps with her other leg to cover it up. The limp was caused by an accident she suffered while competing in an under 15’s semi-professional motorcross race. Despite her accident, she managed to slide in at 3rd position, but, has unfortunately never ridden again.